


Useless Arisths (The Terrors Of Being Stuck On A Ship With Hormonal Teenagers)

by thelimitsofthe_sea



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Crack, Drabble, M/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 06:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelimitsofthe_sea/pseuds/thelimitsofthe_sea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alloran isn't stupid. He may not be a let's-talk-about-our-feelings kind of guy, but he knows when two plus two equals four. He'd been in wars, made hard decisions. You just couldn't keep a secret from Alloran.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Useless Arisths (The Terrors Of Being Stuck On A Ship With Hormonal Teenagers)

**Author's Note:**

> This won't make much sense if you haven't read The Andalite Chronicles.

Alloran isn't stupid. He may not be a let's-talk-about-our-feelings kind of guy, but he knows when two plus two equals four. He'd been in wars, made hard decisions. You just couldn't keep a secret from Alloran.

 

        ****

<<Why do I never get to handle the controls?>>

 

<<Because I'm the better shot, and you know it!>>

 

<<It isn't fai->>

 

<<Can you just shut up and concentrate before you crash the ship?>> Alloran interjected. <<It's not like this is plintconarythmic equations or something!>> Arisths. Completely incompetent, naïve, and stupid. Their petty rivalries always complicated missions. Bicker, bicker, I-hate-him, blah blah blah. He'd known many arisths in his military career, and he knew how the story played out. The fighting would go on for weeks, and then they'd just end up sleeping together. Been there, done that. These two were taking a bit longer than usual, but Alloran knew how it would end. And Alloran was almost always right. 

 

   ****

<<The humans have retired for the night.>>, the aristh named Elfangor reported. 

 

<<Good. We'll be up at first bell to navigate our course to the Taxxon homeworld.>> Humans. Alloran had only met two, but he was already thoroughly vexed with the entire species. The male was deceitful and devious. It was annoying. It reminded Alloran too much of himself. The girl was far too preppy and enthused. The humans had been aboard for less than three days, and already her beautification products and artificial skins were strewn all over the ship. It was beyond infuriating. Oh well. Extreme sacrifices have to be made in war.

 

<<This human female... Loren. She is quite interesting, no?>> Elfangor ventured. Alloran snorted.

 

<<Sure you don't have you eyes on someone else?>>

 

<<I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, Prince Alloran.>> Ah. Denial.

 

<<Look, kid. I know it's not easy to accept->>

 

<<Accept what?>> Innocent blinking. 

 

<<Never mind. Go to bed. That's an order.>> 

 

 

    ****

Alloran was standing by the ship computer. He and Arbron were sifting through information about the Time Matrix. Alloran really had no patience for intellectual pursuits, such as exo-datology. A scientist is useless on a battlefield. But headaches such as thinking and research are required sometimes. Arbron scrolled through documents with references to the Matrix, his brow furrowed in concentration. A high shriek of insane laughter suddenly pierced the silence. Loren and Elfangor. Arbron punched the computer keys with unnecessary force. Another giggle from Loren sounded out. 

 

<<Well, those two seem to be getting on rather well.>> Arbron sniffed.

 

<<And why would you care?>> This was too much fun to resist. 

 

<<I don't. I completely, definitely, under no circumstances, care. Elfangor could flirt with all the girls in the galaxy and I wouldn't bat an eyelid.>> Arbron insisted in unconvincing thoughtspeak. Right, Arbron. Sure. Elfangor kept shooting looks at Arborn to make sure that he was seeing him flirt with Loren. Alloran rolled his eyes. Puh-leeze. Was this obvious only to him?

 

    ****

The mission had been delayed. They'd been caught in a meteor shower, and now it would be at least two months before they reached the Taxxon homeworld. Great. Two months of Loren, Chapman, and his we-like-each-other-now-we-don't arisths. 

 

<<North 2 degrees or 3.5 degrees, Prince Alloran?>>

 

<<3.5 degrees.>> Alloran replied. Arbron switched the controls. 

 

<<Arbron, you're doing it wrong. You need to tilt it to a 95 degree angle, not a 97- here let me show you.>> Elfangor put his hands over Arbron's to guide him in the right direction. The result was instantaneous. They both froze, falling silent and blinking rapidly.

 

<<Slash, anyone?>> Arbron and Elfangor both looked at Alloran like he was crazy. Gawd, was he the only one who read fanfiction around here?!? 

 

  ****

Alloran was tired. He'd been up for five hours on lookout duty. Even war princes need their sleep. The night was cold and quiet, save for the distant thud of Loren's techno pop. What did he ever do to deserve this? Okay, so the Hork-Bajir thing was bad. But, come on, teenagers?! That was way overkill. Elfangor was  next on the watch list, and he was supposed to come and relieve Alloran of the duty. Looked like he'd slept though his alarm. Alloran would have to go wake him. God, you'd think he was the boy's mother or something. Alloran went down the corridor, and opened the portal to Elfangor's chambers. He stopped dead in his tracks. Later, he would reprimand himself for not guessing it would be this. Arbron and Elfangor were both curled up on the bed, fast asleep and tangled in each other's arms. It was predictable, but cute at the same time. Alloran shook himself of these sentimental thoughts. Sigh. They'd both be dazed and exhausted in the morning, and unable to get anything done. Arisths. Completely useless. 

 


End file.
